When Your Baby is in the NICU: What to Expect, How to Cope, and Preparing for the Journey Home
Having a baby in the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit) is something no parent hopes for, yet it’s a reality for many families. Whether your baby was born prematurely, experienced complications at birth, or needs extra monitoring, the NICU can feel overwhelming, emotional, and unfamiliar.
We’re here to help you feel a little more grounded during this time, with compassionate guidance, practical tips, and support for when it’s time to finally bring your baby home.
What to Expect in the NICU
Every NICU is slightly different, but here’s what you may notice:
- A highly medical environment: The NICU has equipment—incubators, monitors, IVS, and breathing support. It can feel intimidating at first, but everything has a purpose to help your baby heal and grow. Ask the care providers what the different equipment is so you understand its purpose and feel more comfortable.
- A team of care providers: Your baby may be cared for by neonatologists, nurses, respiratory therapists, lactation consultants, to name a few. Don’t hesitate to ask questions—all of these providers are there for you, too.
- An unpredictable timeline: NICU stays can vary from a few days to several weeks or months. Progress isn’t always linear, and that’s normal. Take it one day at a time.
- A structured daily rhythm: NICUs often follow routines for feedings, rounds, and shift changes. Learning this rhythm can help you feel more involved and help you choose the best times to visit or ask questions.
Tips for Coping and Staying Connected
Having a baby in the NICU can feel emotionally draining, and it’s common to feel helpless, guilty, or even disconnected. Here’s what may help:
- Be involved in your baby’s care: Ask what’s safe for you to do—like skin-to-skin contact, feeding, or diaper changes. If you can’t hold your baby yet, your voice and presence still mean the world.
- Bring comfort items: Ask if you can leave a small item with your baby, like a soft cloth or muslin blanket that smells like you.
- Pump with support and compassion: If you’re expressing milk, remember it’s normal for your supply to take time, especially under stress. Ask to see a lactation consultant early. Every drop counts.
- Keep a notebook or use an app: Tracking updates, new terms, feeding schedules, or progress can help you feel more organized—and help you advocate for your baby’s needs.
- Take care of yourself: Try to rest, eat nourishing meals, and ask for support. Whether that’s a friend, counsellor, or postpartum doula, you deserve care too.
- Acknowledge your emotions—without judgment: This is a hard season. Feeling sad, anxious, numb, or even angry doesn’t make you a bad parent. You’re doing your best in extraordinary circumstances.
- Bonding may look different—and that’s okay: You may not feel that immediate bond, especially if you haven’t been able to hold your baby much. Love and attachment grow over time. You’re already showing up in the most powerful ways.
Transitioning Home from the NICU
Bringing your baby home is a huge milestone—and for many families, it comes with mixed emotions. Joy, relief, fear, and even grief can all coexist. Here’s what may help with the transition:
- Get clear discharge instructions: You’ll be given guidance on feeding, medication, oxygen or monitor use (if needed), follow-up appointments, and signs to watch for. Don’t be afraid to ask for a written summary or demonstrations.
- Create a calm environment: NICU babies may be sensitive to overstimulation. Soft lighting, quiet voices, and gentle transitions can help ease the adjustment.
- Trust yourself: You’ve already done hard things. You are the expert on your baby now. Reach out to your care team or community if you have questions, but don’t forget, your instincts are valid.
- Lean on your village: Whether it’s a postpartum doula, lactation support, friends, or family, accepting help can give you the space you need to recover and bond.
Preparing for the Transition Home
Bringing your baby home is a joyful and emotional milestone. But for many NICU families, it’s also a time of uncertainty or anxiety. Here’s how to ease that transition:
- Get clear discharge instructions: Ask for written guidance on feeding, medication, oxygen use, signs to monitor, and follow-up appointments. Don’t be afraid to request demonstrations or repeat explanations.
- Start planning early: As discharge gets closer, ask the care team about what support you may be eligible for at home—public health nurse visits, lactation help, or virtual check-ins.
- Create a calm environment: NICU babies are often sensitive to light and noise. Keep things simple at first—soft voices, gentle transitions, dim lighting.
- Expect mixed emotions: Many parents feel nervous or even overwhelmed when they leave the 24/7 care of the NICU. This is completely normal. It may help to stay connected to NICU staff or support groups in the first few weeks.
- Trust your instincts: You’ve already done hard things. You are your baby’s expert and fiercest advocate now. If something doesn’t feel right, speak up. And if you need reassurance, ask for it.
- Set up support at home: Whether it’s a postpartum doula, family member, or friend, having help can give you the space to recover, bond, and adjust.
A Few Final Thoughts
- Take it one day at a time—you don’t need to have it all figured out.
- Accept help when it’s offered, and don’t be afraid to ask for it.
- Check in on your mental health—NICU parents are at increased risk for postpartum anxiety, depression, and PTSD. There is no shame in needing support. If you are struggling, please reach out to us, we can share resources and help in other ways.
You are not alone.
The NICU journey can feel isolating, but you are not alone. You are doing an incredible job navigating an unexpected and often emotional start to parenthood. Your baby is lucky to have you as their advocate, protector, and source of love.
Whether your NICU journey is just beginning or coming to a close, know that we see you and we support you. And when you’re ready to bring your baby home, we’re here to walk beside you every step of the way.
